you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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