I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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