He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
