Can Purell be used as lube?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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