Plan B is the new Plan A
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
