what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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