glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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