bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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