Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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