I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
