yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
only you would photoshop your dick
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
