idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
