those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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