the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
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i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
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got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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