hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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