Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Girls should come with a carfax report
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
