I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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