Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
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just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
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How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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