He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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