i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
