Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
