Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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