i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
