I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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