i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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