office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
