Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize