My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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