I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
