I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
