I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize
