no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
