census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
