evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Tornado booty call.. dedication
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My penis needs a shock collar
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
