He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.