no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
