No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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