sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize