11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
