One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Your penis caused this!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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