She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
