I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
