yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
