I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I did not marry a roomba.
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