I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
