Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
