What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
