my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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