So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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