New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
