I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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