I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Randomize
