it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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