They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
