Who wears a wallet chain?!
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
