I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
