There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
