Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
