If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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