The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
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