I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
