I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
