I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize