Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
